I struggled my way through March, physically and emotionally. The beginning and end of the month were happy, but the middle was rough. Things were very overwhelming and defeating–but I’m proud of myself for how I kept getting back up and pushing through. In March I had three medical appointments; four infusions; and four medical procedures/tests. I had two voice lessons; went to a couple of Joshua’s baseball games; and went to small group once with my parents. And I fit in some other fun things, too–like spending the night at the house for Dad’s birthday dinner; getting coffee with Andrea; going to a train museum with Kenna and Lindsey; getting pizza on Pi Day with Dad; Kenna coming over; going to lunch with the ladies from small group; getting coffee with church friends; going to our anniversary celebration at church; and weekly phone calls with Brooke as well as one with Sara, one with Olivia, one with Bethany, and one with other friends.
This month I’m…
Reading: An Affair of Poisons, Addie Thorley. Liturgy of the Ordinary, Tish Harrison Warren. That Sounds Fun, Annie F. Downs. A Vow So Bold and Deadly, Brigid Kemmerer. The Vanderbeekers to the Rescue, Karina Yan Glaser. A Pho Love Story, Loan Le. The Gilded Ones, Namina Forna. What Doesn’t Kill You, Tessa Miller. Eat A Peach, David Chang. Left Turn to the Promised Land, Rachel Starr Thomson. A Place to Hang the Moon, Kate Albus. Efren Divided, Ernesto Cisneros. The Hatmakers, Tamzin Merchant. The Only Plane in the Sky, Garrett M. Graff. Pavi Sharma’s Guide to Going Home, Bridget Farr. 15 total.
Listening to: This Hozier album (especially Jackie And Wilson). Say My Name, Beetlejuice. Share Your Address, Ben Platt. Would You Be So Kind, dodie. Girl, Jukebox The Ghost. Pierre, Ryn Weaver. The Lotto, Ingrid Michaelson, AJR. Roses, The Band CAMINO. Stop, Anthony Ramos. Tea for Two, Scott Bradlee.
Watching: The usual YouTube suspects–The Frey Life, Linda Sun, and Monica Church, plus Turning the Tables, Emma Topp, Alexmary Fayiga, and Rachel Kim. Gilmore Girls season 1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 (rewatch).
Eating and/or cooking: Chocolate peanut butter Nut Butter bars. Brown Asian pears. Vans protein pancakes and waffles. Turkey mustard sandwiches with cherry tomatoes and pita chips. Mini bagels. Key lime ice cream sandwiches. Plant based Ensure shakes. “M&M” cookies.
Writing: I got back into the swing of marketing this month and it felt really, really good. I was also interviewed on a podcast about freelance writing. Outside of work, I officially joined the People Hope volunteer team, and co-led my first Dysautonomia Support Network meetup. I also wrote 41 letters and received 20.
Buying: Capri pants. Catnip bubbles that my cat cares absolutely nothing about. I also finally bought a bunch of stuff for my balcony–an outdoor rug, some plants, and some string lights–which I’d been wanting to do for a year!
Learning: About defeat, resilience, and how to get back up and keep going when I don’t even care about trying anymore. How to manage my expectations for what my body can do. How nothing that’s eternal will change. And how to deal with bitterness.
Grateful for: A hand-me-down cat tree that my cat is still absolutely obsessed with weeks later. Daffodils everywhere and a friend who drives 40 minutes one way to bring me some. The days of gorgeous 75-degree spring weather. Having balcony picnics again. Feeling excited about new directions to take my business. Friends celebrating hopeful things with me, and friends noticing when I’m not doing well mentally. The birds who live at my apartment complex now (there were none until recently). Friends who can’t stop giggling during prayer. Seeing how far I’ve come and feeling supernatural peace. Life-giving, refreshing weekends. The stimulus check (hahaha just being real). Getting out of my reading rut. That first bite of food after being NPO. My church and everything that has been redeemed. Being able to drive. And so much more.
What did you do in March? What are you looking forward to in April?