I didn’t really do much in February. My health has continued to deteriorate and was very poor this month. The 103 fever that knocked me out for a week didn’t help–I have been permanently worse since then. My level of exhaustion, pain, and other symptoms is impacting my ability to function cognitively as well as physically. In February I was lucky if I was able to work 2-3 hours a day, and leaving the house is an enormous effort (I’m not really even supposed to drive, but, you know). However, February was the month I finally got in to some new specialists I’d been waiting to see, and we got several tests and procedures on the calendar plus some clarity and new diagnoses moving forward. I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions about chronic illness but I’m proud of myself for feeling them in a healthy way.
When I was able to, I went to voice lessons, dance class, church, and small group. We had the Wises over for dinner; I hosted the teenage girls from church for a Valentine’s party; I went to lunch with Brooke; we had the Coxes over for dinner; and I went to dinner with Kenna. Also, perhaps the most exciting thing in February: We had SNOW!!!! It only lasted a day, but it was so magical and fun. I also turned 21 this month, but I was so sick I barely noticed.
This month I’m…
Reading: The Gospel Comes With A House Key, Rosaria Champagne Butterfield. The Dream Thieves, Blue Lily, Lily Blue, The Raven King, and Call Down the Hawk, Maggie Stiefvater. Shadow Spinner, Susan Fletcher (reread). What Is A Girl Worth, Rachael Denhollander. Tweet Cute, Emma Lord. Second Chance Summer, Morgan Matson (reread). A Heart So Fierce and Broken, Brigid Kemmerer. Nothing but Sky, Amy Trueblood. 11 total.
Listening to: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel season one soundtrack. Crazy She Calls Me, Nat King Cole. Seven Nation Army, Postmodern Jukebox. Forget About the Boy and Not for the Life of Me, Thoroughly Modern Millie. What A Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong. We Don’t Talk Anymore, Charlie Puth. Forevermore, Futures. Long Gone and Souvenir, Johnnyswim. So Far from Pennsylvania, Island Song. Beach Baby, Bon Iver. Worst Behavior, Lvly. Dancing On the Waves and Holy Water, We The Kingdom. Smile, Maisie Peters (and all of her songs, as usual).
Eating: I didn’t eat much myself this month–I have about half a dozen “safe” foods these days plus my Kate Farms Standard 1.0 (although I was thrilled to find some dairy free mac n cheese that tastes good!!!)–but I made a lot of food for other people. Coconut pecan pralines, Valentine’s chocolates, homemade dog treats, a waffle bar, and a platter of chocolate-covered things were all on the menu for my friends and family.
Writing: I was able to work on my latest YA contemporary novel once or twice this month.
Grateful for: Friends coming by and leaving care packages on my doormat when I’m too sick to leave the house. Encouragement from a mentor and friend whom I’ve only known for a few months, but is always there for me. My kitty.
What did you do in February? Any snow where you live?