A Strange and Beautiful Juxtaposition

Now all I know is grace.

I saw this quote on Pinterest a few weeks ago, and as I was trying to think of a blog name, it popped back into my head. What a perfect description of my life–all I know is grace. How could I name my blog anything else?

Blogging. If you can’t tell yet (you will soon), I have basically no clue what I’m doing here. I’m a 17-year-old junior from North Georgia and am passionate about music, sports, reading, writing, and kids. I work as a nanny five days a week, I’m dual enrolled at a local college, and I play travel softball. In the future, my hopes/plans are to play college softball, get a degree in I-don’t-know-what (probably something to do with writing), be a missionary in the US working with kids through sports, and be a foster parent. I fluctuate between never wanting to leave home and having intense senioritis. I journal every day, and I plan for this blog to be an extension of those journal entries, documenting how God is working in my life. Being seventeen is pretty cool, I think; lots of responsibility, but not so much that I have to pay for the roof over my head and the food I eat. What with my job, and college classes, and new friends—I am learning so many new things and making so many special relationships and it just feels like the world is opening up to me.

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I’m in an incredible season of life these days, one that I’ve really never experienced before. You know that feeling when you’ve been out in the heat, maybe lacing up your Nikes and going for a long run, without any water? And then you finally get home, or come to a water fountain, and you’re so thirsty that you just gulp and gulp and physically cannot stop drinking and it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted? That’s where I am with God right now, and it’s a beautiful thing. There’s a line in the song “We Dance” by Steffany Gretzinger (which—by the way—is basically the most amazing song I’ve ever heard, and you should definitely go Youtube it right after you finish this post) that says, “And I breathe you in / Like I’ve never breathed till now.” What a perfect description. It’s a special feeling, friends. All of a sudden, I’m just feeling Him in every part of life. Like, overnight—I can’t stop thinking about Him. He’s in everything, and it is SO. GOOD. After the drought comes rain.

Here’s the funny thing, though: I’m also in a really, really hard season of life. I’m constantly worrying about health problems and school and life in general. I feel physically lousy, I’m incredibly busy, and basically there’s so much pressing in on me that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry at least once a day. At the exact same time I feel life opening up to me, growing fuller by the moment, I feel it closing in. It’s getting so much more amazing, yet so much harder. And it makes me pause and think—maybe one season isn’t possible without the other. Perhaps the pain and the beauty are a package deal. So much worry, and yet so much peace. It’s a strange and beautiful juxtaposition that I don’t understand, but I’m so grateful to be a part of.

Blogging. I have a feeling this site will consist of many unorganized ramblings, but I don’t mind if you don’t. For a long time, I wanted my social media and my personal journals and my everything to be perfect, but I’ve finally realized that everything is not perfect. My life is kind of a mess some (read—most) days. So, fair warning: it might not always be pretty. But it’ll be real, and if it encourages you at all, it will be worth it. I’m glad you’re along for this crazy beautiful ride we call life. Stay tuned.

Processed with VSCOcam with b1 preset
Processed with VSCOcam with b1 preset
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2 thoughts on “A Strange and Beautiful Juxtaposition

  1. Linda Rowton

    Hailey, what a beautiful illustration of who you are! I look forward to following your blog. If it is okay, I’d like to place your blog address on my facebook page. Others may be blessed by it as I was.

    Like

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